Ten Things I Believed When I Was 20

 

  1. Oneness Pentecostalism (Pagan Nicaea; Trinity = three gods etc.)
  2. Water baptism must be carried out by full immersion and “in the name of Jesus”
  3. British Israelism (The lost 10 tribes of the northern house of Israel found their way to the British Isles; the Queen is a descendant of King David)
  4. Christians should keep the OT food laws (including mushrooms “because they grow in the dark”)
  5. Soul Sleep (essentially predicated on “the dead know not anything” Eccles. 9:5)
  6. The KJV is the best English translation (modern bibles were translated by Roman Catholics)
  7. The Pope, or at least the papacy as an institution, is the anti-Christ (the 666 of the Book of Revelation)
  8. Roman Catholics are not Christians (Anglicans are dodgy)
  9. God created the universe in six 24-hour days around 10,000 years ago, and we have the science to prove it (see “The Genesis Flood” by Morris & Whitcomb for details)
  10. By my thirties, I’d be married with three kids

Oh boy, how could I be so wrong?!

Dear Lord,

I thank you that you led me to take Biblical Studies & Patristics at university, thereby showing me the error of my ways on 1-9. But really, aren’t you kinda dragging your feet a bit on no. 10?

Humbly, your very patient servant,
Jonathan

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4 Responses to “Ten Things I Believed When I Was 20”

  1. Glenn Says:

    Apart from point 5 (which is obviously correct)…. How did you even manage to get out of bed int he morning?

  2. Jonathan Says:

    lol I know. Really scary, isn’t it? 😉

  3. Brian LePort Says:

    Sadly, I believed 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 8. and 9 at age twenty as well.

  4. Jonathan Says:

    Ah Brian, we really must schedule a mutual therapy session and attempt to put the emotional and psychological scarring of the past behind us.

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